Thursday, December 10, 2015

Discovering My Dad #3: OMG! I have a sister!!!

After Las Vegas we headed to the Grand Canyon and it was time to make the call to Ariana Gardner Herrman! MY SISTER!

I felt the butterflies in my stomach as I pulled up her name to make the call. It's an interesting feeling discovering I have a sister you never knew of, from a father I've never met... 

The moment she picked up, the butterflies just turned to excitement. I am hearing the voice of my bloodline, and there is something to it, I never quite understood before... I felt a sense of connection different than any I have known before, a connection that drew me in and said 'I just need to be near this person, this person is a part of me!'. Her voice made me giggle (not only do I have a sister, but I have a sister with a thick southern accent!!! Yeah!!!) and her enthusiasm matched and exceeded mine. This was a pure moment.

We wasted no time and jumped directly into what she knew about the man I never met. Piece by piece the revelations of my own story were presented to me. The talent, the creativity and the energy of my life today was revealed along side the narcissism and self loathing of my past. As we navigated the many layers that mirrored my own story, one of my deepest fears was revealed in the tragedy that was my father's end. This sent me into an oblivion of tears. Tears of Sorrow, Tears of Gratitude and Tears of Letting Go. 

Although I am not ready to share publicly what that fear is, it is safe to say that my father's playing out of that specific fear is just the healing balm I needed to erase that possibility from my own story. For that I am sincerely grateful.

We ended our time searching for as many possibilities to see each other as possible along this journey. I trusted it will be sooner then later! and sure enough, it is! We will meet in one week!! This is so exciting!

It's been a few days now, and I am still vibrating from my connection with my sister and cannot wait to fill in more of the banks in person very soon...

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