Monday, December 29, 2008

Humility at Last!!!!

Oh boy, one of my greatest vices in life has been my stead-fast and unwavering resistance to any type of respected official, teacher, or elder. I spent most of my childhood beings kicked out of classrooms for disrespect, spending time in the principals office to only take that to the next level in collage and get thrown in jail a few times for the lack of respect for authority. Now, there is a difference between authority that does not deserve respect and those whom are looking out for yours and the communities best interest, I have tended to disrespect the good ones, and now, thinking in my mind that I have risen to spiritual greatness I got my big test, but this test has no pass or fail, it was life or death......

So, on a magnificent Rishikesh morning, one day before I was leaving Rishikesh in route for my journey to the south, I decided to take my bike for a spin to town to grab some things for the journey. One my way, an beautiful couple was hobbling along due to some knee problems and wished for a ride. Being the helping hand that I am, I grabbed them both up and headed for town. As soon as we pasted by the Police Station, I was motioned to pull over to the side of the road. Now, knowing the currupt nature of many police officials in the country, I was hesitant to pull over, but In the policeman's rage, I went over to the side of the road. Immediately I went into a place on non-compliance, trying to drive away as I did not want to deal with the foolish happenings and politics at that moment. But, the officer insisted I go inside and talk to the police. So, I mustered up a smile and headed inside and was met by a stern Indian Man whom started to accuse me of my mishaps. Immediately, I reacted and started to talk to them like they were bad men, bad-mouthing their sign that said "May I Help You" and then finally, completely in the character of my childhood and out of character of the Holy Man that I have fallen in love with, I lashed out with the pulling out 5000 RS (An amount I never carry) and, in a very loud voice, saying, "What is it you want, Baksheesh!!!!"

In the great nature of the calm Indian Man, it was almost a minute before I was met with the eyes of tyrany and rage, so one-pointed and aggressive that I immediately changed my tone into that of calm and serene, apologetic and sincere. I had realized what I had done, a little too late. I had deeply offended a whole entire culture with my words, and the silence of my heart was overpowered by the expression of my conditioning, which surfaced in that very moment!! One by one, I was kicked, pushed and knocked down by Police Officers. Just a few weeks back, my friend had told me a story of how one Police Official faked his death and my friend was beaten to an inch of his life, and would have lost his life, if someone had not come to his rescue from high up in the Enforcement.

So, while I am there, No words can calm the rage, no amount of apology can wipe the pain-filled rage of a culture wishing to show me, in any way, shape, or form, a sense of humility and respect that is deserved as I am a foriegner in their country. My mind was filled with fear, fear of death, fear of being locked up, stuck in the Indian Prison System and Washed away like many tourist have been when they have made similiar mistakes. The truth was that in this Police Station, I did not exist and could be wipped off the face of the planet at anytime, and he made me completely aware of that, many Times!!!! I was told that I would never see my country again, and I felt the reality of that existence and finally, I SURRENDERED To my Fate. If this was the way I was supposed to learn the lesson of Humility, I was ready to do the time. Who am I to think that I can talk to anyone like that?? Who am I to disrespect someone in their Home??? No matter what I believe. I realized my mistake and was willing to pay, and I would pay silently, in gratitude for the life I live and the lessons I receive, no matter how harsh they are. I prayed, I talked to great friend on the phone and told her to arrange for people to come find me if I go missing. I was blessed with the two people, whom, when you think about it, were the catylysts for getting me in the situation, as they stayed. The policemen repeatedly told me what a bad thing I had done and I loathed in that realization. Anything was possible at that moment, from Death to Inprisonment, to Self Realization to A Drawn Out Calming and realization of my true nature of LOVE..and...that is what happened. My words were of no use, but, the essence of what I truly believe shined through as the dust settled.

I had made 4 mistakes that day, No License, No Passport, I am not supposed to own a bike, and the Powerfully Disrespectful Words. Now, you know which comes in most important when we are dealing with human nature. Disrespect a man and throw all the rules out the window, now the battle has no barriers. Not having my passport gave me some time and time for dust to settle. As the Indian man whom was on the back of my bike settled them down, I was able to call the Manager of the Hotel that I stay at and talk with him. He came down and knew the police officer very well. they exchanged words and blessings and then he was able to talk with me. He again spoke with me about what I had done and how I needed to apologize deeply for my wrong doings, write a letter of apology and talk with the man. Basically, my fate was being decided in this One Man Hands, and, at any moment, he could turn against me and put me back into the cage of fear that he had me locked in in those moments, but, being that he was a very wise and heart centered man, we left in a 15 minute conversation of life and a promise to have tea in a future date!!!! WOW!!

I believe there are a few different factors that saved me on this day, a day I will remember for the rest of my life!! The first is faith in the process of the Divine. There was no single Saint or Guru to call on, but, merely a call to the collective consciousness of the whole to place me in the position of my highest growth. The second was Good People, for they function as the messengers of Divine Fate. Another was coming into a space of love and awareness of what I had done, almost instantly, where in the past I would have resisted until locked up and the key thrown away, as that is the extent of the Indian Prison System if you do not play your cards right. My life was drastically changed in those moments and could have been changed for a long time, if not for life. I believe I was spared the treachery of Jail due to the fact that I DO MY BEST to live in the heart and be an being of peace and sees nobody or anything as better or worse, or different, but, obviously, some place deep in the subconscious, I still carried that arrogant, self-riteous bastard child that like to lash out at the sign of authority. This happening shook me to the bone, and rid me on ounces of tears and I pray it was the final episode of that long-lost boyhood menace that doesn't like authority.

Hey, I may never like authority, but I can cultivate a way to commune with all human beings on a level of the heart, and when that becomes the only form of communication in these moments, then everyone involved comes into a space of LOVE, which, after some time, is where we arrived.

What a spinning wheel of color this life is and moments like these make you realize how fast things can change and how little control we really have. I had no control in the Police Station. My fate was in the hands of men and luckily, these men where men of heart, some people do not attract such people and spend long periods of their life trapped in the lesson. I am more grateful then I can even imagine and I will say the incantation and intention of "From this day forward, I will only let the words of wisdom leave my mouth, if I have nothing other then that to say, I will be better off saying nothing."
That was the request of the Great Teacher of that day, the man whom had my fate in his hands!!

Also on a side note, I realized that this Fear tactic that they used, was used for the greatest benefit of the whole. If fear in the world could be used ONLY as a means of our greatest growth, we would be a blessed species, but, it is used to hold us down. The Time is NOW for change!!

Thank you GOD, Universe, Divine, all saints and masters, Mother Earth and all her beings, I bow to your perfection!!!

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